Painful Memories
by kagero-tanaka
Summary: The emotional turmoil that the failed 57th Exterior Scouting Mission takes on Levi continues weighing heavily on his mind. Leading Levi to question if this struggle against humanity is worth it, after witnessing his comrades' demise. But, it wasn't until an unexpected encounter with Commander Erwin Smith, that Levi learns how to cope with the wounds of his past.
1. Painful Memories

**Author's Note**: My apologies for not updating my other fictions. Lately, I've been engulfed in Attack on Titan. So much so that I managed to churn out some Eruri (Erwin X Levi) fluff. This is a yaoi-inspired Alternative Universe fiction. I wrote this prior to reading "A Choice with No Regrets" so therefore any inaccuracies of both the story-line and characters wasn't intended, simply implied. No real spoilers of the sorts either. Nonetheless, hope you enjoy!

* * *

Painful Memories

"Levi?"

"Levi?!"

"What is it?!" Levi answers annoyed, not bothering to turn around.

"I bought you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"You should put something in your belly…since you haven't bothered eating anything all day long."

"I'm fine," Levi insists.

"If you change your mind…it will be here waiting for you."

Levi remained mute staring blankly ahead. It wasn't until he heard the door clicking when he turned. Now with the coast was clear, he saunters over to the small wooden table looking over the bowl. He took a long whiff inhaling the broth's savory scent.

"Looks, like chicken noodle…curse you Erwin."

Levi took a seat at the table peering at his meal. He picked up the spoon, taking a long sip. The soup, felt warm, inviting helping clear his parched throat. As soothing as the soup was, he couldn't seem to grasp the taste of his favorite broth. He dropped the spoon, watching it crash against the table. Levi sighed looking at his callused hands.

"That's right how could someone with so much blood, on their hands smell could or taste anything other than bloodshed and pain."

"I'm a fool."

Levi lifts up from the table but as he was walking away he felt a slight ting of pain.

He stops glaring at the floor. "Damn ankle."

Ignoring the prickling feeling coursing through his injury Levi continues on till something caught his attention.

Hearing voices nearby Levi stops, peeking outside his window. He stood, watching some of the Military Police haphazardly sweeping up all the blood, bodies and debris from the desolate street below his loft. Levi sighed shifting his attention over to the crystal, blue skies wondering how Mother Nature could afford them this tranquil beauty in this trying time. Then another thought occurred was this her way of showing the people of Stohess that despite the terror, bloodshed and chaos that he and the Recon Corp bought upon people of Wall Sina that their mission wasn't a complete failure after-all.

In the end, he and the surviving members of the 57th Exterior Scouting Mission managed to not only capture the elusive female titan but they also were able to…save the idiot. Whom Levi, hated to admit was probably their best chance at saving humanity at this point. Which, still bought Levi very little comfort, knowing that Eren Jaeger, the frantic, irrational, boy, determined to become a member of the Survey Corps could be the key that he and the others needed to unlock the secret of the titans. Levi shifts handing his attention back over to the people gathered below.

He leans over the window sill watching, wishes that there was something he could do especially for the fallen members of the Special Operations squad. His mind shifts back to the moment when Petra Ral's father approached him, revealing that she was secretly in love with him. A revelation, that honestly took him by surprise. Still, that aside, Levi simply didn't have the heart to tell him that his beloved daughter was dead. Speaking of death Levi stood there wondering why he was given another chance at life. At this point in his life, he had taken more than a few gambles on his own life, on several occasions. He lingered at the window stalling at the reality that once again his life was spared for some odd reason. He shifts watching the people below, wondering if there was _anything_ he could do to honor the memories of his fallen comrades…

A sharp chill ran down his spine Levi shivered, closing the shutters cutting off the chilly winds. He walked over to the fireplace, looks like now was as of a good time to start the fire seeing how the evening had turned quite frigid. After gathering the wood, Levi lit a small match tossing it into in the wood. He stood watching the embers slowly starting to set the wood ablaze.

He sucks in a long deep breath, the smell emitting from burning embers was drowning out the grim smell of death that was saturating the air. As Levi stood watching the fire grow, loud piercing screams start pervading his mind becoming louder and louder by the second. He tries to shift his thoughts but it was too no avail…Levi couldn't seem to shut off the horrific screams. He shut his eyes, but behind his lids, all he could see was a glow of red.

A deep scarlet red…the color of blood, and fire.

Where was the pervading thoughts coming from he wondered?

Levi tries to focus his thoughts on something, other than the images and piercing screams twisting around inside his head. Levi gasps opening his eyes staring into the fire…and in that very moment his mind started flicking back to the past, back to a time that he would often try to suppress in the far depths of his conscious. But the more he tried fighting the more his mind kept replaying the screams, and images. It was as-if they were on some weird continuous loop, spinning inside his head. If that wasn't enough, he sat there wondering why his mind had suddenly been thrust back in the past.

Levi didn't know.

He whipped away from the fire wrapping his head in his hands. But the searing fire, the heat, along with the screams echoing inside his head sent Levi into a tailspin with him being forced to recall that horrible day that changed his life forever...

* * *

"Celeste there you are." Levi ran into her comforting arms.

"Levi I'm so happy that you are safe."

Levi peered at the raven haired girl with the bright green eyes shaking his head. "Why…is something going on?"

"Levi they're here."

"Whose here?"

Celeste peeked outside of the small wooden door. "The titans."

Levi swallowed hard, "they are?!"

"Yes," she said turning back to Levi. Her normally happy expression, was replaced with a look of sheer terror. The normally fearlessly happy, girl that he had come to know, looked sickly, pale as if all the color had drained from her soul.

He gasped, realizing from her expression this was no game, nor was a drill, and the threat was real. In that moment it hit Levi, that there was a strong chance that the both of them could die any moment…second.

He clutched his rapidly beating heart, trying to catch his struggling breath. "Celeste, what are we going to do?"

"We're…" she started pointing towards both herself and Levi, "not going to do anything you are going to stay here."

A wave of confusion swept over Levi, what had she meant by this statement, but as he were preparing to ask what she meant a long quake rattled the vicinity interrupting his attempt. Unable to keep his balance he stumbled to the ground, gripping his head.

"Levi…are you okay?!"

"I'm fine," he insisted, declining her help.

But, as he tried sitting up, Levi knew something was amiss, as everything around him was spinning in some sort of twisted notion. Shrieks, yells, and murderous screams that reeked of death sliced the air cutting off his circulation of thoughts. Suddenly, in that moment the air reeked of smoke, along with a rain of body parts pouring from the air like hail of fire. Levi shrieked staring in horror at the piece of flesh clinging to his leg. Too shocked to move, he sat there shaking, convulsing…helplessly pinned to the ground by his own paralyzing fear.

Fright that was well warranted, their city's greatest fear had somehow manifested into reality.

A titan attack.

He lied there on the ground wondering where were their champions of justice, the people who were supposed to protect them from the biggest threat to humanity.

A long and loud, growl nearby jolted Levi from his state of shock.

"Levi?"

"Yes."

"Come with me."

Levi nodded swiping the flesh from his leg and without question followed Celeste inside. She quickly shut the door behind them skirting pass him.

"Levi, hurry."

He tried moving faster but his feet and his mind for some odd reason weren't in sync with each other. Celeste reached out grabbing his hand dragging him through the empty hallway. He thought he heard her speak, but it was difficult to decipher what she was saying over the rattling of the ground beneath them along with the blood-curdling screaming threatening to bust his eardrums.

"Levi…I want you to stay in here."

"In where?" He looked around the small dining room, trying to find where she was referring too.

"The cubby hole."

"There?" Levi questioned trying to make sense of what Celeste was asking him to do.

"Yes."

"But why?"

"This is the safest place from the titans."

"But, how do you know?"

"Levi, trust me on this I know that it is."

Levi glanced back and forth between Celeste and the small, crawl space. His entire core shook as he watched in horror all the precious memories, memorials, and other treasures become distant memories as they crashed into the ground shattering in pieces. Levi ducked trying to avoid the hail of glass, wood and other debris that littered the ground around them.

"Levi, please go inside now," she begged.

Nodding his consent, Levi slowly crawled inside the cramped hole. If there was one person in this world that he could trust it was Celeste and if she thought this was the safest place, then so be it. He watched the smile that he loved spread across her youthful face. Returning her smile, Levi moved over to make room for her. This was the place where the both of them would often come to share their most intimate secrets, or to simply spend time together but instead of coming inside, he saw her shutting the door.

"Celeste, what are you doing?" Levi demanded holding door.

"Levi, I love you and this is why I'm protecting you."

"What?!"

In that moment, everything around him, including all the chaos, and wreckage ceased to exist.

"Levi by hiding you inside of here the titans won't come after you they will…" she stopped sucking in a long breath, "come for me."

Levi remained mute, feeling his body starting to convulse with that paralyzing fear once again.

"But…but how do you know that they will come for us?" Levi asked, feeling the strain in his voice.

"Trust me they will, they can smell, sense human blood it's what they thrive off live off they flourish from our existence."

"No…that doesn't make any sense if you're here with me they won't be able to find us," Levi pleaded, pressing his hand against the door.

"Levi you have no idea, how much this world needs someone like you."

"Celeste, what are you talking about?"

"Levi, I've seen you out there training you have such amazing skills."

Levi gasped, he hadn't realized that Celeste was watching those pretend training exercises that he often mimicked from some of the local Scout Regiment members. Besides being too young to join, Levi wasn't at all interested in joining or having an affiliation with the government or any of their entities. He simply was playing around and copying their techniques only as a means to pass time.

Lost in his own tangled thoughts, Levi failed to notice Celeste leaning in closer, startled he tried moving closer but the cramped space wouldn't allow him so. He shut his eyes, not knowing what to expect…he lingered there anticipating till he felt a slight peck on his cheek.

"Celeste," Levi whispered touching his face.

"_Farewell_…" was the last word Levi heard as she shut the door.

"Celeste!" Levi screamed from the other side, beating against the door.

But his call fell on deaf ears.

He tried turning the knob but to no avail she had locked it from the other end. Levi cursed slamming his fists into the cold, hard floor. What the hell was she doing…and why did she lock him inside. A wave of panic, and sheer terror started sweeping over him. Then the truth finally hit him, and there was no way he was going to let Celeste sacrifice her life for his sake. After-all he had already lost his parents in this manner…there was no way he was going to lose her too. Looking around Levi, tried looking for anything he could use to pry open the door. Damn, there wasn't anything he could find anything useful.

As he continued looking, a wave of unfamiliar voices stopped Levi dead in his tracks.

"No you can't do that!"

"Girl…we have too otherwise the titans will come for us."

"No!"

Levi leaned his ear against the door, trying his best to decipher the jarring conversion.

"Please don't!"

"We have too."

"No, I won't let you!" Celeste screamed.

"Guys take the girl!"

"**LEVI**!"

"**CELESTE**!"

Thumping, rattled Levi's core, with his heart now beating in sync to the sound of the heavy rattling. At some point, he managed to tune out his flustering heartbeat trying to focus on the voices growing closer to his location.

"They're coming!" someone screeched.

"Do it now!" yelled another.

"**NOOOOO**!" Celeste wailed.

Levi covered his ears as the bloodcurdling screams ripped through the air. Though, covered ears the thumping sound was all that he could hear. But, then again at this point Levi wasn't too sure if that was the sound of a titan or the beating of his own heart.

Dead.

Silence trickled through the air sending a frightening shiver down his spine.

Why had everything gone so quiet all of a sudden?

Then it hit him…the smell of metallic…that inevitable smell was the stench none other than death. Levi swallowed hard trying to fight the tears swelling at the base of his eyes.

"Celeste…" he called, but Levi knew his attempts were in vain.

He called out to her once more for reassurance but nothing but dead silence answered him back. Levi cursed, slamming his fists against the door. This was it. He slammed fists against the harden floors allowing his emotions to overtake him. Levi lied there not bothering to fight the tears constantly pouring. Once again when he thought he was healing from the anguish of losing his family those many years ago, he was hit with another blow. Levi wailed, not caring if anyone or the stinking titans heard him…he was as good as dead anyway. As it felt like both his heart and soul were ripping away from him.

As he lied there casting out his sorrows a different smell invaded his senses, this smell jarred him out of his stupor. This wasn't any ordinary smell…he took a long sniff of the hot, dry air. The air started choking his airways. Then it became clear that the clogged air was smoke and from the smell of it, there was a lot of it. Panic, swept over him as he tried searching once again for something he could use to escape.

"I have to get out of here!"

Levi managed to find a way to sit up and began kicking the door with all his might. He covered his face, trying not to breath in the toxic air that was threatening to suffocate him. Just as he found the strength to kick down the slacken door some fallen debris thwarted his escape. Levi, shoved against some of the shards slowly crawling out of the hole. Ignoring the prickling pain, and blood dripping from his hands and knees Levi tried his best to stay below the smoke. He stopped sucking in a deep breath, but stopped cold in his tracks looking around. The place that had become like a second home, was scorching, with deep scarlet flames licking the walls, torching anything and everything in its treacherous path.

Levi searched high, low seeking an escape from the burning inferno.

Spotting a small area where the fire hadn't reached he dropped down to his knees, groaning from the both pain and suffocating air he quickly made a beeline for the opening. A shrill scream echoed through the air. Levi dropped to the hot ground, his body was in searing pain. Panic shot though his core he was afraid of the damage that the fallen debris had caused as he looked back at his leg. Levi watched helplessly as the debris seared at his flesh. Paralyzed by his own fear Levi couldn't bring himself to remove the burning ember threatening to engulf his leg.

But he knew he had to do something the burning was starting to rip away at his flesh. It was a pain like no other…it was like hot pelting needles slowly peeling away at his skin. After what felt like a lifetime, Levi managed to shake out of his stupor reaching for the object but before, he could try to get whatever had dropped on his leg off something else had fallen on top of him. Expect this time it was his back that took the brunt. A sickening crack vibrated inside his head, Levi yelped with a voice that he didn't recognize as a razor-sharp like stabbing pain shot throughout his entire body.

Did the piece of debris that fell not only crack his spine, but severed the base of his nerves?

It certainly felt so, he yelled in agony until his throat grew raw and hoarse.

Soon numbness started spreading over his entire body, yet Levi found this strangely calming. He sighed lying his head against the warm ground. In that moment, a sense of peace started overtaking Levi. He knew that this was it and that in a matter of moments…seconds rather he would be dead. A thin smile spread across Levi's lips soon he would no longer be of this world having to suffer this torturous pain.

It made Levi happy knowing that he would be able to join both his parents and Celeste in the after-life. Now the only thing to do was to simple wait and let death take her course. With his eyelids growing heavy, Levi no longer fought the urge to keep them open. An itch ensued inside his throat…soon it manifested in an endless array of erratic coughs...with his lungs unable to keep up with the coughing spell a choking sensation overtakes his breathing.

The taste of bitter metallic filled his taste buds. Once, Levi found the strength to open up his eyes again, around him lied a small pool of blood. He shut his eyes again, feeling the gagging sensation once more. He lied there sputtering, and choking…wondering why he was still alive, and having to suffer. But, as Levi finally felt both his heart and breathing slowing, a flood of voices filled his ears.

"Do you think anyone is in there?"

"I don't know…"

"Commander Pixis, what should we do?" called a deep authoritative voice.

"We need to check every single house to see if there are any survivors," answered Pixis, a man who Levi vaguely recognized.

"How could anyone survive this?"

"Son, you will be surprised what a man does to fight death."

Though the fogginess that was clouding his mind, Levi slowly tried calling out to the people. But it was too no avail, his voice was still ragged and raw, from both the yelling and the coughing. He tried moving but the burns along with the injuries to both his legs and spine prevented him from doing so. Levi sighed…it was too late for him anyways he had come to terms with his imminent death. Succumbing to the pain, Levi shut his eyes, he felt his soul slowly slipping away. But, somewhere in the far corner of his mind, he heard the faint sound of footsteps, and they were gathering closer to him.

"Over there, I think I see a body."

The footsteps were closing in on him that much Levi knew but there was nothing he could do at this point to alert the people to his whereabouts.

"Guys, I found someone," someone expressed excitedly.

"Is he?" another asked trailing off.

"Commander over here…" ordered the same brooding voice.

Levi could feel the warmness around him not from the fire but the people gathering around him.

"Should we?"

"Lift the debris off the body?" asked another.

Levi's body reacted with a hard twitch once the debris was removed from both his back and leg.

"I think he's dead…" someone nearby said.

Levi could feel the remorse in their tone. If they only knew that he was alive, suffering such torturous pain. He lied on the ground anticipating death, he was sure would come any moment now. But, to his surprise, it was none of the sorts. What gives, and why was he still among the living.

"_Where was death, and why hadn't she come for me yet_?"

"_What the hell was she waiting for_?"

It was this moment were Levi, realized that maybe it wasn't his time to leave this world. With both the pain and sorrow, continuing to sweep over him, Levi tried desperately to fight the unconsciousness threatening to consume his soul.

"No, I think I saw him move," a shrill voice nearby said.

Levi stirred, could it be that someone had realized he were alive. Even so, he was sure that there was nothing that they could do to save him at this point. He incurred grave injuries, so there was no point in wasting their efforts to save him.

"Turn the boy over slowly," ordered Commander Pixis.

Pain rippled throughout Levi's body, jolting him to life as he felt his body being turned on his back. Levi tried screaming, but with his hoarse voice it was impossible.

"He's…alive?" someone uttered.

"Barely…" Pixis expressed grimly.

In that moment something incredible happened, Levi sprang to life, feeling his lungs clearing out the toxic air. As they cleared he started gasping, trying to cling for any available air.

"Isn't that Levi?" someone inquired.

"I believe so," answered another.

"Commander Smith fetch the air tubes…we need to hurry if we are to save this boy."

"Sir…Yes…Sir!" called the brooding voice beside him.

In that moment, Levi felt something tight wrapped around his both his face and nose suddenly he felt streams of air pumping into both orifices. But, all that oxygen was too much at once, the swell of unconscious started rolling over him once again. Unable to fight it, Levi eyes rolled into the back of his head with every single inch of his body falling limp against the sodden floors.

"_Commander…I think we are losing him_…" were the last words Levi heard as the unconsciousness took over shrouding him in dark uncertainty…


	2. Invariable Truth

Invariable Truth

Levi looks down at his hand, wondering why it hurt. Too his surprise he hadn't realized that he had been clutching his hand so tightly that he was cutting off the flow of blood. He releases his hands trying to recollect it. He stares into the glowing fire, with his mind trailing away to those distant memories. He stood there recalling those images and piercing screams again. That was certainly a day of reckoning that Levi would never forgot. But, what was bothering him the most wasn't so much the terror but that he wasn't supposed to live. Nonetheless, he miraculously made a full recovery from those horrific injuries.

Even still, none of his recovery would have been possible if not for the help and guidance of Commander Pixis. The man who took care of him raising him like his own son. No amount of gratitude could express how grateful Levi was for his tender, love and care, but it still didn't change the fact that he had lost his dear friend. Every chance he got, he would return to her place or what was left of it.

Even after all those years it was left in the same condition, as it fell during the titan attack, burned, littered with the debris splatted blood. But, nothing was as jarring as seeing the blood spattered remains of his dear friend covering the empty corridor that was once a bustling street that Levi loved to visit. The walls of the some of the nearby houses were splashed with both her blood and remains along with many other deceased residents. Ironically, enough the scene stood silent and still confined in time like some bloody, engraved memorial.

Throughout the 3 ½ years that he spent with Commander Pixis, Levi started training under his command. Once Levi reached the age of 15, they asked him to join the Scout Regiment. But, too everyone's surprise Levi initially declined the offer. It didn't seem worth his time or nor his interest to get involved in any of the titan affairs seeing how all that had come of was the death of his family and Celeste. That was until one day a tall, and broodingly handsome blonde named Erwin Smith somehow persuaded him the stoic, and unassuming teenager to come and join his Scout Regiment under his command.

Shifting his thoughts, Levi no longer wanted to revel in the past…after-all there was nothing he would do to change it. Levi glances over at his pocket watch. It was time. He walks over to his bed, reaching for the small container of salve. Retrieving the medicine, Levi slowly starts unbuttoning his shirt, slipping out of it. Levi made his way over to the full-length mirror staring at his torn, burnt flesh, rubbing his hands across his neck for some reason his hands were shaking.

Why?

Where were the nerves coming from?

This was something he had spent the past couple of years doing, tending to his scars.

Then Levi sensed something… a presence nearby.

"Whose there?"

"Only me." An all-too familiar voice replies.

Levi, turned his attention back over to the mirror and out of the shadow Erwin emerges. Swallowing hard, he watched the brooding blonde slowly inch his way towards him. Reaching for his shirt, Levi quickly tries placing it back over his exposed torso.

"Erwin…how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough…"

Rattled by Erwin's sudden presence Levi proceeds to button up his shirt. If there was anyone that he didn't want to see his scars…it was Erwin. He stopped, looking over his shoulders and saw his Commander standing very close behind him. They locked eyes, with Levi trying to turn away but for some reason he couldn't seem to break their stare. He continues his stare taking notice of the way light of the fire was reflecting in his deep blue eyes.

"Erwin…you still didn't answer my question."

"What would that be?"

"How long had you been standing there in the darkness?"

"As I told you long enough."

Levi sighs finally breaking free of Erwin's piercing glare. Two of them remain quiet…with the hushed silence echoing throughout the loft. Levi, flinched a sharp pain began grinding against his skin. He could feel the heat rising against his scarred flesh. Levi could feel the anger growing inside, of all the times, why had Erwin chose now to come to his quarters. It was time for his medicine, and his body was aching for the remedy to soothing his festering wounds.

"Erwin, I hate to be rude, but is there something you want?"

Erwin remains mute shifting his attention back over to Levi.

"Erwin," he repeats rising his tone.

"Levi."

"Yes?"

"It's okay."

"What's okay?"

"I know your secret."

"Erwin…what are you talking about?"

Confused Levi switched his attention away from the pain handing it over to his Commander wondering what he was getting at.

"Those wounds."

"What wounds?!" Levi shifts peering at Erwin.

"The ones you received from the fire."

Levi felt his heart sink into his stomach. "Erwin."

His commander inevitable caught his fall as his legs somehow buckled beneath him. Levi jerks away turning to Erwin.

"But how?"

"Levi, I was there when they rescued you."

"You were?" Levi stammered.

Erwin nods. Levi swallowed hard, scouring his mind for any evidence of his disclosure.

"You never saw me, when I came though you were unconscious barely clinging to life."

Levi flinches feeling the pain circulating around his back.

"Were you there in _Klorva_ the entire time?"

"No, I was simply passing through town to rely a message to Commander Pixis."

Levi sighs, turning to Erwin, "so you were not only aware of my existence before joining the Scouting Regiment, you knew about my scars all this time?"

"Clever man, I suppose you're rousing is was what convinced me to join the Scouts," Levi continued.

"Yes, I was aware, and my rousing has helped you live up to your parents' reputations as one of humanity strongest opponents."

"So, you're going to take credit for my abilities, something that I never intended on pursing in the first place."

"Someone had to bring that spirit out you, otherwise what a waste it would have been to see you doing something otherwise."

Levi shifted his gaze meeting Erwin's. "If I didn't know any better it would seem that you were using my skills and strength to get closer to me…and if that's the case, then you should stay away…" he sneered darkly.

Levi felt a sense of anger coursing through his veins along with the torturous pain threatening to tear away at his flesh. There was certainly no room in his heart for someone else. Seeing how everyone that he loved perished a long time ago. Erwin steps closer, close enough for Levi to get a long whiff of his fresh, yet masculine scent. In that same regard his inviting scent started calming his growing anger. Levi shifts his troubled thoughts unable to understand how in one instance he was angry at the thought of Erwin knowing his secret only to feel at ease in the next instance.

As he stood there wrapped in Erwin's presence, Levi had taken notice that usually when he was around he felt at ease. Levi wasn't all that sure why he only felt this way around Erwin…but he had to admit that he did enjoy those moments seeing how far, and in between they were. In fact it was a welcomed relief…it gave Levi a slight bit of comfort, especially with all the violence, uncertainty and death constantly surrounding him.

Lost in his own tangled thoughts, Levi fails to notice, that his Commander had invaded more of his personal space.

"Erwin, what are you?" Levi trailed off.

"Perhaps it was selfish of me…" Erwin started reaching over unbuttoning his shirt, "to seek your company more for myself than the mission."

"Truth be told it wasn't only for my sake, but I knew that I needed you on _my _team as much as humanity needed a savior."

Levi froze staring at his Commander, trying to understand his admission of truth.

"I needed someone on my team, who was not only rational, and could follow direct orders but someone who could lead the team in my absence if necessary."

Levi remains mute peering at the brooding blonde.

"I wanted someone who was not going to allow themselves to get caught up in their emotions," Erwin continues.

Levi looks up catching Erwin's hypnotic gaze.

"I needed someone who wasn't afraid of…death."

Levi swallowed hard shifting his attention away from Erwin. If Erwin only knew that how much he feared death.

"Commander Pixis was the one who recommended you."

"Is that so?" Levi whispers.

"Yes."

"Curse him," Levi mutters handing Erwin's his attention.

He looked up noticing a small sheepish grin forming across Erwin's lips.

"Care telling me what's so funny?"

"You are."

Erwin slips open the last button, turning Levi back towards the mirror. Without a word or regard Erwin carefully slipped off his shirt. Never had there been a moment where Levi felt so…exposed. Despite the warmth he could feel the chilly winds vice-like grip seeping through the cracks of the shutters. Levi felt his body starting to shake, the frigid air was causing his wounds to flare up again. Unable to take any more agony Levi reaches for the salve.

"Here…allow me."

Before Levi could protest Erwin takes the small container from his hands. Levi didn't bother to protest…seeing how the pain was threatening to overtake him any moment now. He shut his eyes trying to find something else to focus on. Levi took in a deep breath, feeling the warm glaze being circulated over and around his shoulders. Levi chewed his bottom lip anticipating the normal swelling that would often come with salve treatment…too his surprise it was none of the sorts with the swelling being replaced by a tingling cool sensation.

Levi let out a small of relief. This relief continues as he felt Erwin hands' cresting down the crevice of his spine with his hands coming to rest at the small of his back. The area that had taken the brunt of his injuries. The journey of his Erwin's soothing touch, along with the salve made his heart race. So much that so that feeling continued growing moving throughout his body. Levi could feel it approaching his loins. The sensation was so clear to the point where it was threatening to approach the tip of pants at a moment's notice.

Levi tried shifting his thoughts away from this unexpected whim of pleasure, but since he hadn't experienced anything of this magnitude in very long time he wrestled with the decision over whether or not to end his growing arousal. Then again Levi train of thoughts stalled, how could someone especially Erwin have the power to make him feel this way. He suspected that Erwin may have deeper feelings other than friendship for him, but never did he imagine that he harbored reciprocal feelings. It certainly would seem like so in this moment, where his body had taken over his sense of rationality.

"Levi?" calls a voice in the distant.

Levi manages to shake out of his stupor realizing it were only Erwin.

"Yes?!" Levi answers, as calmly as he could trying to hide his fluttered state.

"Something must be on your mind, I don't believe you heard a word I said."

"Of course I did."

Erwin chuckles, "Levi you know you're not that great at hiding your true feelings."

Levi narrows his eyes glaring at Erwin.

"At least from me that is."

He shifts turning his attention over to the glowing fire in the distance. Much to Levi's dismay, perhaps Erwin was right because for some odd reason no matter how hard he tried to distance himself from his emotions, Erwin always seem to know how he was truly feeling. He would often see beyond the obvious, it was as-if he were transparent as those two-way mirrors. Where one side could see in but yet the other couldn't. There were moments, were Levi wondered if Erwin understood his moods more so than he did.

"There all done."

Before Levi could react he stood there watching as Erwin slid the stark white shirt over his bruised torso.

"I suppose a thanks is in order." Levi slips his arms into the sleeves the crisp shirt which surprisingly felt both cool and refreshing against his raw, burnt flesh.

He turns to Erwin locking eyes with his Commander, but as he were preparing to give him thanks Erwin steps closer startling him. He stood there wondering what Erwin was preparing to do. The events seemed to occur in slow motion, as he watches Erwin cuffing his hands around his shoulders pulling him inside his personal space, planting a small kiss upon his forehead.

"There's no need to thank me."

"Erwin…" Levi whispers, pulling free from his grip.

"You should finish up the soup before it gets cold. It will help you sleep better and prepare for our departure in the morning."

Levi, quickly shifted his attention over to the ground feeling his face grow flush.

"I'll leave you be. If you need anything don't hesitate to find me."

Levi remains mute, it wasn't until he heard the door close when he bothered looking up.

"What the hell?!"

"That…Erwin..."

The confused, anger confined inside his heart that was waiting to escape began to deflate the longer Levi lingered in the moments that transpired. How could he be upset with the man who took him under his wings helping him control all that anger, and rage burning inside. Erwin was the one who taught him how to wrangle in all those emotions by channeling them into combat. He wasn't all that sure how, but Erwin had the uncanny ability to quell that swelling heartache that he had held too… given Levi renewed hope.

Hope, that someday not only would he be able to take average on the monsters that killed his loved ones, but gave Levi hope that he would be able to open up his heart to others. Levi, took in a long deep breath, gripping his fluttering heart.

In that moment, he realizes that perhaps Erwin was _the_ one he loved.

Levi let out a long sigh not bothering to button up his shirt as he walked over to the small table. He took at seat picking up the spoon, slowly dipping it into the smooth, clear broth taking in a spoonful. Despite sitting out in the cold, the soup still maintained some warmth. This bought a smile upon Levi's lips. He was final able to enjoy the taste of the soup. Although the chilly air smelt of death, Levi felt grateful that he could find some enjoyment in one of his favorite dishes.

He had none other than Erwin to thank for that. It was amazing how such a simple gesture could invoke the truth inside his heart. Levi turns to the fire feeling the warmth from the soup calming his ailing thoughts. As his thoughts kept toiling away at the events that transpired today they kept stalling on his Commander. In that moment, flashes of their countless moments together appeared before his very eyes.

Levi grips his heart, could it be all this time that Erwin was the one that held that the key to unlocking those emotions he kept hidden inside.

"Damn you Erwin," Levi mutters, shifting his attention back over to the fire...


End file.
